Abstract: You just found out that a client needs a SQL database to be designed from scratch. However, you existing DBA has given two week notice. This presentation is meant for the Accidental DBA that has little to no experience with creating Transaction SQL objects. After this presentation, will be ready to meet that clients need. Coverage: 1 - How is a view better than ad-hoc SQL? 2 - Abstracting underlying tables via a view. 3 - Avoiding DML updates to views. 4 - Using triggers to enforce business rules. 5 - Using triggers to prevent data modifications. 6 - What are the different types of functions? 7 - Simple use of each type. 8 - Using stored procedures as an application interface. 9 - Batch programming using stored procedures. 10 - How to schedule batch jobs.